Sunday, November 27, 2011
brownies, build-a-bear, and a mini-fridge
For this blog post, I have written a story about cookies and expectations. Is it a true story? Maybe! But I took a leaf out of Max's book and used the word PLUCKY, so already the story is a special one.
ONCE upon a time,
there was a young, impressionable girl. Her name was Lolita.
No, I'm just kidding! That's a different story. This has nothing to do with it.
This is a horrible beginning.
ONCE upon a time,
there was a young, impressionable girl who hadn't experienced much of anything, ever. She was exceptionally idealistic in her views, but if you had told her this, she would say something along the lines of ,"What's idealism?", because she is only a first-grader and they've only just grasped the concept of hope.
For example, the girl hoped that her first Girl Scout meeting would be fun and exciting. She couldn't wait to start selling the cookies that she loved to consume. She hoped that she, too, could zip-line through a forest while waving her hands in the air, just like the plucky Girl Scout on the front of the Thin Mints box.
So she went to her first meeting and was deemed a "Brownie". She received a brown vest, which was momentarily unadorned by the plethora of badges and pins sported by all the great Girl Scouts. The girl learned the Girl Scout pledge and recited it dutifully. The troop leader told the young girls of exciting field trip opportunities and life-changing experiences! Then the information for selling cookies was handed out and the meeting came to a conclusion.
The girl flipped through the packet, skipping past all of the boring, monochromatic instructions to selling cookies and price charts. She turned straight to the back and lo and behold there were PRIZES! Like the ones you get by selling magazines for a school fundraiser! The girl thirstily eyed the colorful array of wonderfully ridiculous prizes... A mini-fridge! Oh, boy, the things she could do with a mini-fridge. Think of how much apple juice that could store! The girl fell into a wistful, prizes-for-selling-cookies-induced daze. All she had to do was sell a considerable amount of cookies. She was sure she could do it. She would sell ALL of the cookies and then lounge about in her victory with a glass of chilled apple juice and a celebratory box of Samoas. Sounds like an A++++++++++++ plan!
It was a grey day in February when the young girl started to go about selling cookies. She loaded a little blue wagon with a rainbow of boxes and clumsily stretched her brown Brownie vest over her puffy winter jacket. Her father carried the customer information sheets attached to a clipboard in his gloved hands, and together they marched down the street, going door-to-door selling cookies throughout the neighborhood.
And over the next few weeks, the girl dragged her parents to other locations where her troop had set up shop. She spent a day at the mall along with other determined young Girl Scouts, marketing boxes to casual strollers. The little girl enjoyed working at this venue; she even found time to purchase a small Brownie vest from Build-A-Bear that matched her own, except this one was going on an orange-striped cat she had stuffed at the store the previous week.
In another instance, the girl spent three nights selling cookies in a grocery store with her troop, at a table that was set up strategically by the entrance. Here, the youngster and her Girl Scout droogs made their highest profit.
And finally, after weeks had gone by and the majority of boxes had been shipped out to cookie-crazed customers, it came time to meet up again as a troop and bring closure to the cookie-selling season.
The little Brownie fidgeted anxiously in her seat throughout the meeting, knocking her knees together and waiting for any mention of prizes. When the troop leader brought out a big brown box, the girl squealed in delight. This was it! Her prize was just a few cardboard flaps away. She deserved that mini-fridge! Or maybe the cool pen that lights up and writes in pink! Or perhaps she got the bright yellow shower radio! She tried to recall how many cookies she sold, but she couldn't really remember. She was too excited to think straight.
So when the troop leader placed a small, plastic bag in her hand, the girl was befuddled. She squinted in disbelief, scrutinizing the bag in her palm. It was ... a sticker? No, a badge. A badge?! She turned it over in her hand. In pink, girly script, the badge read:
COOKIE DIVA
. . . Cookie diva?! A COOKIE DIVA badge? That's IT?! What the frak? She wasn't a diva, let alone a COOKIE diva! This was NOT what the little girl had expected. She stared down at the badge, willing it to turn into a mini-fridge.
"OOOH, whatcha got there?" Suddenly, a random troop mom was hovering over her. "Oh, how CUTE! Let me help you with that, sweetie!"
And the oblivious woman stuck it right on the front of the girl's Brownie vest, right over her heart, where it was displayed as proudly as any gold medal. Except the young girl wasn't proud of it at all. She hung her head in disappointment, as cloudy visions of mini-fridges disintegrated in her head with a sad POOF sound.
She went home that day, dejected and distraught, and poured herself a glass of apple juice from the normal fridge. The COOKIE DIVA badge was transferred to the Build-A-Bear cat's vest, where it remains to this day.
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Mmmm, Samoas...
ReplyDeleteI love your voice and humor (and the word "plucky"). Your prose seems effortless, and I enjoy all the surprises like the false opening, the fact that she's only first grader, and her reaction to the badge: "What the frak?" Excellent job!
i like the story and i like the word plethora- Joe Kovacs
ReplyDeletehaha omg Kait this was really funny. I really liked this story and the whole girl scout concept. It made it very entertaining to follow and it also made me hungry. Now I really want girl scout cookies...
ReplyDeleteBridget
i love the silliness of the story. its very attention captivating.
ReplyDeleteCookie Diva, I remember that. I believe my mom has a complimentary thermos that says 'cookie diva'
ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed this one!